On Monday, I'm starting a new job, and I'm really nervous. Unfortunately, I was fired from my last job, which I believe was due to taking paternity leave three months in—a benefit offered by the company, which I used when my daughter was born. After returning, I was initially ignored and told to "ease in." I appreciated this but informed my boss that I was ready to work. Subsequently, I was assigned a project only two people in the entire company understood. The instructions were vague, and communication about the project's progress was poor. Additionally, I was reprimanded for asking too many questions and not doing adequate research. In my opinion, with custom software that is poorly documented, consulting the subject matter expert is crucial when in doubt.
My supervisor consistently hinted that during performance review season, he had to "defend my work." He framed this as an objective measure across the company at my level, which I find misleading since software engineering's nature can't be objectively measured. Performance reviews, despite what anyone says, are mostly based on vibes.
I want to clear the air about my insecurities, as I often worry that everything my boss accused me of in the performance review was true. However, upon reflection, I realize that the events cited as proof of my poor performance were either embellished or fabricated. I was also criticized for asking questions and being slow. When determining the legitimacy of criticism, consider its specificity. It needs to be specific and constructive; vague criticism without an actionable fix might be more sinister than it appears.
Initially, I said I was fired, but I chose to leave after receiving a performance improvement plan. At first, I wanted to prove my boss wrong, but after realizing his disingenuousness, I escalated the issue to his boss. Once she sided with him, I left the company. This experience, though an educational one, came with the stress of unemployment and being let go for performance—a situation I wouldn't wish on anyone.
The main takeaway is to trust yourself. Be reflective and mindful, and discuss your situation with someone trustworthy who doesn't hold back. If, after that, you can't see the criticism as good faith, it likely isn't.